from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
