I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize