i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
