this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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