This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
and you fell through a lawn chair
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize
