Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
