so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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