i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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