We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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