after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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