"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
