I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
