I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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