I want to stick my p in your. b.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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