dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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