my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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