Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
