Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
