I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
