you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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