this just has baby written all over it
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize