She said her name was "party"
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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