Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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