I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
