New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
and she was petting her beer can
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
this will be a night to untag.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize