Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I can't turn off my feet"
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
