WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
