there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
