I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
