listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Randomize
