HIV tests are more positive than that guy
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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