He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
