She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Randomize
