Don't you send me to vm
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
