I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
We need to get me chipped asap
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
