yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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