Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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