do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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