What did we do last night that was yellow?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
