Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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