How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
accomplished twins. life is a go
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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