I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
