Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
