some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
