i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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