Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
