it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
