My nipple is on Facebook.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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