I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
