I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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