There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
