you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
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