blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
she peed on how many people?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I have already put on my inside pants.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
