she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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