He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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