I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize