someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize