omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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