They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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