Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
