So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I need water and some morals
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
