oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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