I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
