Don't you send me to vm
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
The Olympian is in my bed
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
