my room smells like sperm. sweet.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
