Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
