can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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