Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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