How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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