just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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