wat bout pragnant strippers??
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Randomize