I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
