I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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