Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
do herpes really smell.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
