She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
