My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize