I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just threw up on my dentist
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
